Not All Divorces are Awful

You hear all the time about the awful details of divorces. Whether it’s friends gossiping together about the divorces of other friends or gossip magazines revealing (or making up) details about celebrity divorces, it definitely feels like the whole of society is dead certain divorce is absolutely awful all the time.

I want to push back on this, so with the permission of my lovely ex-wife, I’m going to share my story.

Sarah and I got divorced two years ago. We were married for six years. We’re still really good friends. We hang out. We meet up at parties and we chat. Sarah’s quite close to my fiance Clare, and I like her new boyfriend pretty well.

How did this happen?

Well, let me start at the beginning. Sarah and I got married right out of college. We dated from the middle of junior year all through senior year. We finished school at the same time, we both wanted the same sort of things (or so we thought), and it just seemed to make sense. I look back on it now through the lens of Clare, and I see that we were probably just comfortable and we wanted someone there as we looked to take on the big scary responsibilities in life.

We got married that autumn without a lot of wedding drama. We were moderately happy for a couple years, then not happy for a couple more, then miserable for the last two.

We ended up not wanting the same things in life. I decided I didn’t want to be a lawyer (which had always been part of our long-term plans). I got a great job near home (we live in Texas) in the natural gas field, and I loved it. Sarah decided she wanted to go back to school, and that eventually, she wanted to move out to the coast. Basically, I was ready to settle down and start thinking about a family, and Sarah wanted to start over.

When we decided to get divorced, it came as a relief to both of us. We often laugh about how neither of us can remember who brought the topic up. We just had an “oh yeah,” epiphany sort of moment. Once it was out there, it was really quick and painless. We had an uncontested divorce, which you can read about at this law site if you don’t know what it means. And then we weren’t married anymore. Aside from some early awkwardness, everything has been fine between us.

So, there you have it. Not every divorce is awful for either or both parties. It’s worked out well for Sarah and me. I bet a lot of people out there have similar stories.

By the way, Sarah’s starting school next year, and she’s moving to the coast. Good for her!


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A Biker Wants to Sue Me

I hate bicyclists. I’ve always hated them. And now, I have a huge extra big reason to feel that way because one just ran into my car, and the guy is threatening to sue.

Look, bikes are useless. After the age of maybe twelve, they should be retired. We should treat bikes like we treat Halloween, a real gas for kids but anyone over a certain age has no business getting involved.

That’s how it should be, and yet I see more and more of these people (adults, mind you), clogging up the city streets on their two wheels. They’re a menace. They slow down traffic. They take up the central part of the lane so no one can get past. They don’t pay attention. They often ignore traffic signs and just fly right through. They’re a danger to themselves and to others.

I can’t imagine how many accidents take place because cars have to stop suddenly when a guy on a bike decides he wants to stop at the hipster fancy mustache shop and so he makes a sudden left into traffic. I don’t know the number, but I’m going to assume it’s high.

So this guy hit me. I don’t know if he was going to do a mustache shop. He did have a mustache, though.

I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let me set the scene. I was driving home two nights ago. It was after dark because I got out of work late. We have a big project due soon, and I’m stressed and not sleeping well, but that’s neither here nor there.

I was driving home, and this guy who wasn’t wearing a helmet and was wearing dark clothes zoomed out in front of me. I slowed down appropriately, I sat behind him doing ten miles an hour in a 35, waiting for him to get over to the side or turn onto another street. I wasted several long minutes of my life indulging his exercise routine.

During those minutes, he went through at least two stop signs. He’d lightly touch his breaks, look both ways and fly through.

Well, at sign number three, he decided for some reason to stop completely, despite the fact there were no other cars coming. I wasn’t expecting this, so my bumper kissed his back tire.

He flew off his bike dramatically, and got up and started beating on my car. He said he’d sue and demanded my information, which I gave.

Now, I’m finding out he may actually have a case. Apparently, he’s not required to wear a helmet, and I’ll have to prove he wasn’t following all the rules of the road.

What an awful couple of days I’ve had, and it’s only going to get worse. I was contacted today by someone claiming to be this guy’s lawyer. Maybe it was a prank, I hope it was, but I somehow doubt it.


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